Description
In January 1994, a bitter tragedy struck my life: death took my youngest son.
After months of trying to cope with grief, I decided to make some sense of why I had to bear so much gut-wrenching pain. You see, when my son Andre was born, I decided to become a full-time mom to him and to his two older brothers. He became my constant companion and I frequently dragged him to wherever I was going. Usually, after school is over, I would hear his voice shouting from the apartment hallway, ‘I’m home!’
When I realized that he was permanently gone, my heart shattered. This led me to a period of depression. I knew that I needed to make an effort to get out of the well of sadness that I found myself in.
In the course of time, I found a short study at a seminary and decided to enroll. The course title?
Theodicy.
Fancy name. Theodicy is the problem of how to reconcile a just God with a world containing evil. Or stated another way, “If God is so good, why does evil exist?” “Why do bad things happen to good people?”
I’m sure you’ve heard of stories of tragedy visiting friends and families. I’m sure you’ve also asked why. And my struggle with that question led me to try to understand suffering through the lens of Scripture.
The short stories in this book are about my journey through the valleys where God has led me. These are the night seasons of my life — times when God seemed hidden and yet was present all the time. Each story is a short narrative of thoughts, feelings, and insights that I discovered on the ways and character of God.
These night seasons have allowed me to see facets of His being that have been previously concealed. My deepest understanding about God came from those times when I was hidden in the shadow of His presence. Shadows appear when darkness and light collide. I’ve found out that if you don’t run away from the shadows that appear like the bogeyman, God’s light does pierce that darkness and brings you to a brighter day.
Bad things do happen to good people.
I have come to the conclusion early on that bad things happen to all people, good or bad.
Some parts of my journey have been extremely difficult. Through these, God gave me a glimpse of who He is and how much He loves me. It would have been a much more difficult experience without His companionship.
Life has many twists and turns. Some of these wanderings brought me into the dark caverns of sadness and pain, yet they also brought me into days of joy and wonder as I began to dimly understand who God is.
This has been one of my most fervent prayers: ” that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death” (Phil. 3:10 NKJV).
Jesus’s suffering preceded His resurrection. In the same way, a victorious passage through suffering allows us to understand the resurrection power of Jesus who lives within us.
As you travel with me through this book, it is my prayer that you would read the Scripture references from your own Bible. Find time to meditate and answer the questions found at the end of each chapter. Write on the blank pages of this book and use it as your own journal.
I pray that you would be honest enough with God to ask Him your own hard questions. You may not get answers immediately, but I guarantee you that you will come to know Him better. I also pray that you would learn to love Him deeper.
One of the proverbs I’ve read somewhere says that we learn to appreciate the sweet better when we have tasted the dregs of bitterness. May you come to taste and see that, through all of life’s experiences, good and bad, God is always good.
May this book help you find strength and encouragement to overcome your own struggles and come to grips with your own pain and suffering.
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